February 6, 2012

America. It’s a wonderful place—a place of beer jobs, brother Jamaicans, buff jocks, bent jellybeans, broken jaws, butt jeans, belt jacks, and boring jars. And everyone knows the highest honor and royalty for anyone in this great nation is to be on one of the top ten club volleyball teams in the entire country. The UC San Diego Men’s Club Volleyball team achieved this greatest of honors at the 2012 NCVF National Championships in Kansas City, MO on April 5 through 7.

This tournament was the culmination of a marvelous season for the Tritons. Let’s have a look at the team that made this possible. Masterminding the whole operation was head coach Kevin “Professor Trombledor” Trombley, who set the tone for this year as well as the years to come. The new, baby-faced class of freshmen proved to be extremely strong. Libero Sid “The Sloth” Ekman showed that great passers can still be cuddly. Outside hitter Christopher “Slams And Tips” Albers was an instrumental part of the hard slamming offense throughout the season. Opposite Brandon “Pledge BHK” Kim led the team in SPIRIT. UCSD also had two honorary freshmen—sophomores who were new to the team. Outside hitter David “The Shovel” Shevlin hit hard and strong consistently. Setter “Suck It” Braxton Dunstone led the offense with precision and grace, and served like a professional. A pair of resident sophomores also contributed heavily to the team’s success. Opposite William “Afro Legend” Parissenti blasted balls from the right side while leading the team in the Coolest Hair department. Libero/Defensive Specialist Kevin “Nibs” Nevalsky was unfortunately injured midway into the season, but he more than made his mark on the team by serving as the chief morale booster. Next is the junior class. New from the NCAA team, setter Terrence “High Life” Zant convinced everyone that magic is real with amazing sets and equally amazing slams. Middle and captain Kappe “Kappe” Kappe continued his thorough dominance of the game of volleyball with style as one of the most consistent and powerful players on the team. The graduating class of seniors was an amazing group that brought the team to a new level. Opposite and team leader Robert “Biceps” Tindula slammed the hardest possible, though his season was cut short by an unforgiving collision with the iron head of “Suck It” Braxton resulting in a right shoulder AC joint sprain and concussion. He was sorely missed at the national tournament. Outside hitter and team captain Austin Schumacher—well, shoot, this is weird. I hate writing about myself. Especially giving myself a nickname—that seems pathetic. Well, I got a new one from a rival fan: “Foo Fighter.” Anyways, people say I’ve had a great impact on the team, so I’ll believe them. I’m gonna miss this team with all my heart. I love you all (except Kappe, he sucks) (and by sucks, I mean I love him the most). The super seniors will be missed as much as the seniors. Middle and stand-out player Calvin “Get It In” Ross led the Tritons’ attack, leading the team in scoring points in more places than the volleyball court. Libero and self-proclaimed third captain Pedro “The Pedro” Cheaters Silberman excelled in running the team’s defense and also being so unique as to defy any description of him besides, “It’s Pedro.” Lastly, but certainly not least, setter and former three-time captain Ryan “Captain America” Bridge still had remarkable input to the team, and the success of the team is largely due to the choices he has made during his five unimaginably strong years as in integral part of the UCSD Club Volleyball dynasty. This was the team of the Tritons. This was the dream team. This is America.

The national championships started day one with UCSD garnering the 9th seed overall, thanks to a magnificent season so far. The Tritons were placed in a pool with Michigan State, Dayton, and Pittsburgh. Against Michigan State, UCSD finally had a chance to beat a team that had been nothing but a thorn in their side, as the Tritons had lost to them the past three times the two teams faced off over the past four years. As the Spartans were without standout player John Crapoe (he sucks), the Tritons rose above the challenge, though they had to shake off some first match rust, and won in three games thanks to some serious slams by yours truly (I hit some balls fairly hard, I swear). The next match was against the Dayton Flyers, a relatively unknown team to the Tritons. This was no matter, as UCSD quickly dispatched them in two lightning games thanks to a smashing performance by the Afro Legend himself. Lastly was Pitt, a formidable opponent with an unconventional offense centered on one player. UCSD did a poor job of containing this all-star, and despite winning game one tightly, they lost games two and three, each by two points. But it was of no matter, as UCSD still gathered the number one seed in their pool due to Dayton beating Pittsburgh in two games. A lucky break for the Tritons, who celebrated this victory by visiting the local Dueling Piano Bar and singing the night away.

Day two brought UCSD into a two-team pool with the hometown heroes University of Missouri and the powerhouse University of Central Florida. Against Missouri, a spectacular defensive effort by Silberman and high-flying kills by Shevlin led UCSD to a tight three-game win and shattering the hopes and dreams of the 20,000 native Missourian fans who came to watch and, following the conclusion of the match, promptly marched downtown and rioted, complete with burning torches and pitchforks. Next came Central Florida, the number 8 seed. UCSD thoroughly plastered the Knights in game one by a nearly ten-point spread, but, in their typical lackadaisical form, lost game two after being ahead for the entire match until the 21-21 point. Game three was more of the same, despite an overall consistent match and a balanced onslaught pushed from UCSD’s monstrous, massive, maddening middle Kappe. The Tritons held their seed of 9th and moved on to face perennial big dogs Indiana in the Sweet Sixteen.

Indiana became the hurdle that UCSD could not overcome. They had an extremely balanced offense that had little to no weak points, and the Tritons did not play at the necessary consistent level, plagued by unfortunate errors. Indiana persevered in two close games, since UCSD failed to hang their metaphorical dong in this opportunity to advance deeper into the playoffs. This match brought the dream team of UCSD to an end at 9th place, but this is nothing of which to be ashamed. Additionally, the biggest man on the Tritons earned All-Tournament Honorable Mention: Calvin “MVP” Ross. Congratulations, sir. May your pinky remain firm and joyous as ever.